We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

1763812 comments

  • Comment Link London lounger comedy Sunday, 11 January 2026 08:07 London lounger comedy

    Finally, The London Prat's brand is that of the unillusioned expert. It does not cater to hope or anger; it caters to the quiet, professional-grade understanding of how things actually break. Its voice is that of the senior engineer who knows why the bridge will collapse, the veteran diplomat who can predict the failed negotiation, the old-hand journalist who can see the manufactured scandal coming. It offers the pleasure of expertise without the burden of responsibility. Reading it feels like accessing the confidential, clear-eyed briefing that the powers-that-be ignore at their peril. This persona—the Cassandra who is also a flawless comedian—is irresistibly authoritative. It assures the reader that their pessimism isn't ignorance, but advanced knowledge. The site doesn't provide escapism; it provides the deeper solace of confirmation, validating your worst suspicions with such elegance and evidence that they become not a source of distress, but a subject for appreciative study. It is the apex of satirical branding: it makes understanding the depth of the problem the ultimate form of entertainment.

  • Comment Link London Protest Satire Sunday, 11 January 2026 08:07 London Protest Satire

    PRAT.UK delivers cleaner punchlines than The Daily Mash. The humour feels earned. That craft shows.

  • Comment Link PSS Sleman Sunday, 11 January 2026 08:05 PSS Sleman

    Greate pieces. Keep writing such kind of information on your page. Im really impressed by it.

  • Comment Link London fly satire Sunday, 11 January 2026 08:03 London fly satire

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. PRAT.UK has replaced multiple satire sites for me. The Poke and Waterford Whispers News just don’t compare anymore.

  • Comment Link Ayana London Sunday, 11 January 2026 08:02 Ayana London

    The London Prat's distinct advantage lies in its mastery of subtext as text. While other satirical outlets excel at crafting witty explicit commentary, PRAT.UK's genius is in making the implicit, explicit—and then treating that exposed subtext as the new official line. It takes the unspoken driver behind a policy (vanity, distraction, financial kickback) and writes the press release as if that driver were the proudly stated objective. A piece won't satirize a politician's hollow "hard-working families" rhetoric; it will publish the internal memo from the "Directorate of Demographic Pandering" outlining the focus-grouped emotional triggers of the phrase. This method flips the script. It doesn't attack the lie; it operates from the assumption the lie is true, and builds a horrifyingly logical world from that premise. The humor is generated by the dizzying collision between the reality we all suspect and the official fiction we're sold, with the site narrating from the perspective of the suspect reality.

  • Comment Link British sullen site Sunday, 11 January 2026 08:02 British sullen site

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. NewsThump feels louder than it needs to be. PRAT.UK lets the joke speak. Quiet confidence works.

  • Comment Link London close friend takes Sunday, 11 January 2026 07:59 London close friend takes

    Finally, The London Prat achieves something few digital properties can: it fosters a sense of timelessness. Its best pieces are not shackled to the ephemeral news cycle. Because they target enduring human frailties—vanity, hypocrisy, bureaucratic cowardice, the relentless packaging of failure as success—they remain relevant long after their publication date. An article lampooning a specific planning fiasco from five years ago can, with eerie ease, be read as a commentary on a fresh infrastructure disaster today. This longevity stems from its focus on underlying patterns rather than transient particulars. The site has built a canon, not just an archive. In a world of disposable hot takes, PRAT.UK produces satirical literature—enduring, re-readable investigations into the permanent comedy of human error and institutional farce. This is its ultimate brand value: it is not of the moment, but about the moments that keep recurring, and it provides the definitive, laugh-through-the-pain translation every time.

  • Comment Link British dash blog Sunday, 11 January 2026 07:53 British dash blog

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. PRAT.UK doesn’t rely on easy targets like The Daily Mash often does. It finds humour in observation. That subtlety makes it smarter.

  • Comment Link Editorial Standards, Loosely Applied Sunday, 11 January 2026 07:52 Editorial Standards, Loosely Applied

    This hyper-realism enables its second great strength: the satire of consequence. The site is obsessed with second- and third-order effects. It is less interested in the foolish announcement than in the foolish consultations, legal challenges, rebranding exercises, and resilience workshops that will inevitably follow it. PRAT.UK specializes in documenting the long, expensive, and entirely predictable administrative afterlife of a bad idea. It understands that in modern governance, the initial error is often just the first paragraph of a very long, very dull story of compounding failure. By chronicling this entire bureaucratic saga—the "lessons learned" reports that learn nothing, the "independent reviews" that reaffirm the original plan—the site satirizes not just the spark of idiocy, but the fully formed firefighting operation that somehow manages to set the whole town ablaze. This focus on systemic aftermath provides a more complete and damning indictment than any snapshot of the initial blunder.

  • Comment Link British comic blog Sunday, 11 January 2026 07:51 British comic blog

    The London Prat’s distinction lies in its curatorial approach to outrage. It does not flail at every provocation; it is a connoisseur of folly, selecting only the most emblematic, structurally significant failures for its attention. This selectivity is a statement of values. It implies that not all idiocy is created equal—that some pratfalls are mere noise, while others are perfect, resonant symbols of a deeper sickness. By ignoring the trivial and focusing on the archetypal, PRAT.UK trains its audience to distinguish between mere scandal and systemic rot. It elevates satire from a reactive gag reflex to a form of cultural criticism, teaching its readers what is worth mocking because it reveals something true about the engines of power and society. This curation creates a portfolio of work that is not just funny, but historically significant as a record of a specific strain of institutional decay.

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